Fictional satire ·

The Department of Already Available Information

Where finding the public record requires another public record.

A work of satire. The committee and department are fictional. The illustration is a fictional scene, not evidence of real events or wrongdoing.

Satirical Rhode Island illustration: a rider on a mechanical donkey and a detective navigate a fictional Department of Almost Public Records, APRA-request signs, paperwork and an EOH sign reading Excellence in Obscurity Happens Here.

The proposal caused understandable concern. Someone suggested putting public information where the public could find it.

At first, the committee assumed this was a joke. The information was already public. It lived on a website, behind a second website, inside a document whose filename suggested that its author had briefly lost a fight with the keyboard. Anyone could access it, provided they knew it existed and did not need it that afternoon.

“What problem are we solving?” asked the chair.

This was an important question. In government, a problem is not a problem until it has survived being described as a communications opportunity.

The visitor explained that residents wanted to understand how things worked: where a decision had come from, what public spending records showed, which office handled a service, what a meeting had actually decided. They would appreciate links to the original sources. Ideally, the explanation and the sources would inhabit the same century.

The committee grew quiet.

“So,” said the chair, “you want to duplicate information.”

“I want to connect it.”

The chair wrote duplication.

There were legitimate objections. The existing system had developed organically, like mold, and should not be disturbed without studying its ecosystem. Certain facts migrated between departments. Others nested in attachments. A few spent the winter in a scanned PDF, where they were protected from search engines and people with deteriorating eyesight.

Finding these facts required a specialized civic education. You learned that the page marked “Current” was historical, the page marked “Archive” was current, and the page marked “Resources” contained a cheerful photograph of a tree.

This cultivated resilience. A resident who successfully located a meeting packet was no longer merely a resident. They were, in a modest but meaningful sense, an investigative journalist.

“We also have a phone number,” someone pointed out.

This was true. The phone number reached a person who knew another phone number. That person knew an email address. The email address belonged to someone on leave, whose automatic reply offered the original phone number. The system was circular, which suggested sustainability.

The visitor said that people sometimes gave up.

The committee had not considered this a system failure. Giving up reduced demand.

To demonstrate the difficulty, the visitor introduced an entirely ordinary person. She had a job, a parent who needed help, and twenty-three minutes before she had to pick up a child. She wanted to know where to begin.

“Begin what?” asked the chair.

That, the visitor explained, was part of the difficulty. A person knows what has happened to them. An institution knows what it has named the thing that has happened to them. Between these two kinds of knowledge lies a website menu.

The person had selected “Assistance.” This led to “Services.” Services led to “Programs.” Programs offered a directory organized by the names of the offices she did not yet know she needed.

“She should have selected ‘Residents,’” said a committee member.

“She did.”

“Before or after ‘Assistance’?”

The committee felt it was getting somewhere.

It is worth noting that the person answering the phone was not the villain. She was covering for two colleagues and working with the same website. She had developed an unofficial system involving a notebook, a yellow sticky note, and a relationship with someone named Deb. Deb understood the process because she had been there when the process was still a person.

If Deb retired, the knowledge would become a strategic priority.

The visitor suggested that a clear, source-linked explanation might help both the resident and the staff member. It could say what was known, show where that knowledge came from, and admit what still needed checking. It could help people reach the appropriate service without first making them fluent in the organization chart.

“People might misunderstand a summary,” said the chair.

This was a serious concern. People could also misunderstand a hundred and forty pages, but at least then the misunderstanding would be comprehensive.

The committee requested a disclaimer. Then a disclaimer explaining the disclaimer. There was some discussion of putting the useful information beneath these, although this would require scrolling, which a recent accessibility initiative had identified as something people did.

Eventually, someone asked the visitor what such an effort would be called.

“Civic401,” the visitor said. “With HOPE401 working toward helping people navigate services.”

“Hope,” repeated the chair, cautiously.

The word was not on the approved list, but neither was it specifically prohibited.

The visitor also described a method for investigating public spending: inspect source documents, identify missing pieces, ask for access, and distinguish an unanswered question from an answered one. The committee considered this much slower than having an opinion.

“What if a record is missing from the packet?”

“Then we say it is missing from the packet.”

“And then?”

“We ask for it.”

This was another uncomfortable efficiency. It left so little room for a press conference.

The visitor described an ambition so small that it had become radical: help people understand public systems, with sources they could inspect for themselves. Help them figure out their next step. Spend less of their limited time proving that they deserve an answer.

There would still be complicated questions. There would still be eligibility rules, disputed decisions, missing records, and offices that needed more people. A readable explanation would not conjure an available appointment. A link would not fund a service. But perhaps a person could reach the actual difficulty without spending the morning negotiating its website.

The chair looked relieved. This was much less threatening than reform.

Then the ordinary person asked whether she could have the explanation now.

The room paused. Until this moment, the project had been proceeding comfortably as a discussion about a project.

“We would need to identify the appropriate next steps,” the chair said.

“That’s what I came for,” she said.

Outside, the afternoon continued without waiting for anyone’s process. Children needed collecting. Shifts started. Rent came due. The public, in its familiar inconsiderate way, kept having a life.

The committee agreed to meet again.

The woman had eleven minutes left.

The real work

Help people find a place to start.

Neighbors sit around a sunlit community table reviewing maps and public documents together.
Conceptual illustration. No specific service outcome is depicted or guaranteed.

Civic401’s investigative efforts include tracing public spending, inspecting original documents, identifying gaps in the material reviewed, and asking for access to needed records. Each finding should make clear what the documents show and what remains unknown. Alongside that work, HOPE401 aims to help people navigate services.

We’re raising $1,750 for a 501(c)(3) application and two months of operations. Any donation is welcome. Help sustain careful, source-backed work and give people back some of the time they spend looking for a place to start.

Support the campaign on GoFundMe

For a one-time gift, choose the one-time option at checkout.

Explore the projects: HOPE401 · Civic401

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